Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[heartismyown]

[Of course, Roxas knows he's following, but he'll allow it for a few steps.]

I don't want coal! I was really good this year!

[Well, mostly. He did leave the Organization, didn't he?]

Well...do you think Santa can overlook me upsetting Xemnas?

[by_heart]

Uh, yeah, I think he's not going to mind that one. Pretty sure Xemnas got coal every year. Maybe that's why we never had Christmas parties.

[Because, come to think of it, there were a few of them back then who would have wanted to start one. He didn't want to think about what would have happened, but that was life in the Organization for you.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas gives him a bright grin.]

Then Santa's going to come for me!

[He heads down to what he's termed as his room. He doesn't really have anything in there any more than he did in the Organization. Roxas moves to close the door so he can hide the presents from Lea.]

[by_heart]

[Lea leans on the wall outside the door. It's his house. It's not like he can't poke around in Roxas' room later if he wants to. He probably won't. Probably. He always was one to go hunting for his Christmas presents. Isa used to get so mad at him.

Oh wow. Unhappy thoughts, Lea. Merry Christmas.]

Don't hide it under your bed, Roxas! That's where everyone looks!

[heartismyown]

[Well of course Lea could but it wouldn't be fair. Roxas was going to put it under the bed, but at that he flails a little and looks around. He hides them in his closet instead, behind his clothes. He didn't put anyone's name on it so there's now way he's going to figure it out.

He opens the door and pouts at him.]

And don't come looking here!

[by_heart]

[Lea waves his hand dismissively.]

I won't, I won't. [He'd usually stick on an "I promise," but he doesn't.]

No presents until Christmas. I got it. So did you steal anything new while you were out?

[He's not dropping that one.]

[heartismyown]

I didn't! I don't think that person even knows I took the mistletoe. He can kiss whoever he wants now. How come he wants to kiss someone?

[Roxas tilts his head, a question coming to mind.]

[by_heart]

I don't know, I've never met the guy.

[Lea shrugs expansively.]

Maybe he has someone he likes. Maybe he's just a creep. Could be lots of reasons.

[heartismyown]

Is that how it works? You kiss people you like? Does that mean I should kiss you?

[Roxas blinks at him, curious.]

[by_heart]

[Lea could kick himself. He walked right into that one.]

No! I mean -- well...no! [Why does he do this to himself?] There's liking someone as a friend and there's...there's...

[He looks away, trying to find a way to say it that doesn't sound abysmally stupid and juvenile.]

Having a crush on someone, I guess. Romantic interest. Sometimes we just use "like" when it's too soon to say "love."

[heartismyown]

[Roxas blinks at him.]

How would I know the difference? I mean, I like you the best, you're my best friend. I like Sora and Riku, but not as much as I like you.

[He remembers wondering this before.]

What is love anyway?

[by_heart]

Geez, you don't hold back, do you?

[Lea crosses his arms and looks down and away from Roxas.]

I don't know if anyone really has the answer to that question. I guess...[How to put this in words?]...it's kind of how you know you have a heart. When you don't, you can like someone and even care about them and it doesn't feel all that different. It's emptier, but not too far off. You can't love someone, though, because there can't be anything empty about that.

[heartismyown]

Oh, I see.

[Roxas looks down, mulling over what Lea's said about it. It's a little sad, actually.]

I guess I still don't understand what it's like to have a heart. Sounds nice though.

[by_heart]

[Lea can only nod. Only Roxas can really tell them whether he has a heart or not, since he's always been a bit different from other Nobodies, but Roxas has never known what it's like to have a heart. How would he be able to tell the difference? Lea wants to believe that they've succeeded and he does have one, but it's times like these that make him doubt himself.]

It's not always that great.

[heartismyown]

Why not? What doesn't sound great about that when you can like someone more?

[Roxas just doesn't understand. He feels the same as he always did, whatever that means.]

[by_heart]

[Lea reaches out and ruffles Roxas' hair, still not meeting his eyes.]

You can like someone more, but that doesn't mean they're automatically gonna like you back the same way, dummy.

[heartismyown]

Oh...that would be sad, I think.

[Roxas nods, understanding, at least he thinks he does.]

[by_heart]

Yeah, hope you never have to deal with that one. No standing under the mistletoe waiting for someone who's not gonna show.

[Why does he keep bringing up that stupid plant? It just comes out.]

[heartismyown]

Did that happen to you? Are you sad right now?

[Roxas tries to look into Lea's eyes, curious. He seems a little off.]

[by_heart]

Nah, I'm fine.

[He still won't meet his eyes, though. He's always been bad at keeping a poker face. It's...not that he's ever really been in love with someone like that. The worst heartache he ever felt happened when he didn't even have a heart to feel it. Maybe it's thinking about all the Christmas stuff or something...another Christmas without the person who used to be his best friend and his first Christmas with the person who holds that spot now...except things can never just be simple when it comes to Roxas.]

Just thinking about some stuff.

[heartismyown]

Oh...

[Roxas isn't sure what to do when Lea doesn't say anything more. He doesn't understand it, but he looks sad so he squeezes his arm.]

Don't be sad, Axel.

[by_heart]

[Lea slips his arm around Roxas' shoulders and hugs him to his side for a moment, but, as Roxas probably should have been expecting, it's followed soon after by Lea popping him one on the head with his other hand.]

Do I need to start wearing a name tag? Lea. L. E. A. Lea. Obviously you don't have it memorized.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas did curl his arms around him experimentally. Sora seemed to hug everyone, and he thinks it looks fun, but he drops his arms when he's popped in the head.

He gives Lea puppy eyes.]

I have it memorized, just...it's hard!

[by_heart]

[Arrrrgh, the puppy eyes!]

It's not like it's complicated or anything.

[Puppy eyes or not, he's still going to grumble about it.]

Maybe if you start getting it right, Sora will pick up on it too and I won't have to hear "Axel Axel Axel!" anymore.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas looked at his feet, kicking one of them.]

What if I can't get it right? Are you gonna eliminate me?