Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[heartismyown]

Oh. Okay.

[His face falls, it's good Lea can't see him. He takes a few steps back and looks back at Lea, worried. He's never said that to him before. He's refused to answer questions, sure, he does it all the time. He's never said anything that blunt.]

Do you want me to leave?

[by_heart]

[Lea sighs heavily and rolls onto his back, his arm draped over his eyes. It takes a few seconds before he can answer because he knows he needs to find the right words and none of the words that come to him seem to be right.]

I...I don't, because you're just going to get strange ideas in that head of yours and everything's just gonna get worse.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas isn't sure what to make of that. Ideas?]

It's okay Axel. You don't have to worry about me.

[He's bothering Lea, isn't he? He didn't want to talk to him, so he walks out of the room into the kitchen. Now what?]

[by_heart]

Yes, I do.

[He says it mostly to himself, almost surprised that he can. He's always wondered if he was lying to himself about that, if Roxas would be fine without him watching from the shadows. He's sure it was true once, when he was Axel and there was no one else who gave a damn, but now that Roxas has come back, he has plenty of friends and a chance to build his own life.

Well...maybe it's that he needs to worry about him because it makes him feel needed.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas doesn't hear him, but it's getting late and now he's getting hungry. He can manage it though! Lea's made food lots of times, it can't be that hard. He puts his textbook down on the table and looks around for something he can make himself. Noodles would be good, he thinks.

Does Lea want to eat? How can he ask him without bothering him? He wavers a bit as he tries to think. He opts to write it down on a piece of paper, folding it into a plane before turning around the corner from the kitchen. He looks at Lea on the couch and throws the paper airplane on top of him.]

[by_heart]

[Getting hit in the arm with a paper airplane snaps him out of his funk a little. What on earth?

He unfolds it and sees that it's just a question about dinner. Trust Roxas to decide that "not wanting to talk" means "communicate through paper airplanes."]

You can just ask, you know. I have to answer, after all. And no, I'm too tired to eat. Just make something for yourself. [He sighs.] I'm not mad at you, stupid.

[heartismyown]

You said you didn't want to talk to me, so I'm leaving you alone.

[Roxas explains before disappearing back into the kitchen. He pokes around, but when he can't find what he wants he gets annoyed, knocking a cup off the counter. Shoot. He sighs and starts picking up the mess.]

[by_heart]

[Great. Now Roxas is breaking the kitchen.

Lea rolls off the couch and drags himself over to the kitchen, leaning on the doorframe and inspecting the mess.]

Yeah, but I didn't tell you to go wreck my kitchen. I said I didn't want you to leave, too, but it looks like you forgot that part.

[heartismyown]

I didn't forget it!

[Roxas snaps before thinking. Where is all this negativity come from? Is it because what Lea said? It hurt a little being dismissed like that, and now, now he's annoyed because it seems like Lea is taunting him.]

I didn't leave!

[by_heart]

You went straight in here and started breaking things! How is that not leaving?

[Yeah, so he's still in the house, but he'd really just wanted Roxas to sit back down on the couch and be quiet for a while. Stupid spell. He can't lie, but he's still not saying what he needs to say.]

[heartismyown]

I didn't break it on purpose! It was an accident.

[Annoyed, Roxas huffs and scoops up the glass in his hands in one shot. He dumps it in the trash, turning to glare at Lea. A cut on his right hand drips on the floor.]

I thought you didn't want to talk to me.

[by_heart]

[Lea grabs Roxas' wrist and pulls him over to the sink before he can bleed all over the floor, not speaking at all as he washes the cut and makes sure there's no glass stuck in it.]

Stupid, don't just pick up glass like that.

[And since there was a question implicit in Roxas' words, he has to answer despite himself.]

I told you I don't want to talk to you and I meant it, I can't not mean it right now. I've got to answer every question honestly whether I want to or not until this wears off.

[heartismyown]

[He hisses a little bit as the cut is cleaned out.]

Then don't talk to me Lea. I can make my own dinner. I can put a band-aid on.

[by_heart]

[Lea lets him go and just droops against the counter.]

I know that.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas wraps his cut with a paper towel and opens the first aid kit.]

I meant I could go visit Sora if you want to be alone. I know I have a lot of questions...I...I'm sorry, okay?

[by_heart]

[Lea shakes his head.]

Don't be. You need to ask those questions. Why else do you think I spend so much of my time answering them?

[He says he doesn't want to talk and yet he just keeps talking.]

[heartismyown]

I don't really know Lea. I don't know.

[He bandages his hand slowly, it's difficult but he can handle it. His anger is fading back into upset. He doesn't look very happy right now.]

Just tell me you find me annoying already.

[by_heart]

I do sometimes, yeah, when you're being a pest, but...that's okay. You should have the chance to be annoying, just like anyone else. You should have the chance to do whatever you want.

[He already knows that one came out wrong.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas sighs a little.]

If you don't like that stuff why am I here? I mean...this is your house and stuff. I don't have anything.

[by_heart]

[Has he really made him feel like that? Lea hangs his head and his voice is a little shaky when he finally speaks.]

I want you to be here. It's supposed to be your house, too. If that's not what you want, I...

[heartismyown]

Really?

[He shakes his head.]

I want to be with you Lea. You're my best friend. I just...I know I'm causing you a lot of trouble.

[by_heart]

You're not. I know I give you a hard time, but I'd do anything for you.

[...so that's out there now.]

[heartismyown]

[It's the first thing that brings a smile to his face. Roxas closes the box and exhales.]

I'm...I don't know why it upset me so much when you told me to be quiet.

[by_heart]

I don't know, either. Would it kill you to just sit on the couch with me sometimes and not talk my ear off?

[Part of him is relieved that the air seems to have cleared, but part of him is deeply disappointed that it seems like Roxas has no idea what it had taken for him to say what he'd just said and how much "anything" was. He knows they've never talked about it themselves, but he doesn't know if Sora or Riku have told Roxas how Axel died or why.]

[heartismyown]

I can do that.

[Roxas is tired of this cooking adventure and picks an ice cream for dinner.]