Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[by_heart]

[Lea wants to just shake him and tell him that he doesn't know, that he needs to actually think about it, but more than that, he just wants to accept those words at face value and keep Roxas here.]

Love...is kind of like that, I think. Wanting someone else to be happy even if you can't be...

[heartismyown]

I don't know what would make you happy.

[Roxas scratches his head.]

[by_heart]

Really? And you've known me for how long?

[Of course he knows.]

[heartismyown]

I know, I know. But forever is a long time, and I can learn! I swear! Give me a chance to figure it out!

[by_heart]

Whoa, you sound like you're expecting me to throw you out. You're not going anywhere.

[heartismyown]

Well I don't know, you got upset at me and you might want me to go away.

[Roxas frowns a little.]

I keep getting feelings in my chest. It hurts when you get mad at me.

[by_heart]

[Lea nods. He knows that feeling well.]

I'd never do that. You're the one who leaves and I'm the idiot who keeps trying to get you back, no matter what, even if it's not what you want. That's how it works.

[It's more self-deprecation than bitterness.]

[heartismyown]

I don't mean it like that, I just...I get mad, or something like mad and I don't...I don't know how to do about it. I don't want to get mad at you, it's not usually your fault, I think, and I don't know. I feel like punching things sometimes and I think sometimes I have to leave. Not for long. I'd always come back.

[by_heart]

That's normal. Go punch things if you need to. Punch me if you need to, I can take it.

[He swats him.]

Why are we talking about this, anyway? I thought I was getting a declaration of love and now I'm telling you to punch me.

[heartismyown]

[Helpfully Roxas punches his shoulder lightly.]

But I don't usually want to punch you. I don't know, my brain is all weird.

[He snorts softly.]

I don't know what else I can say to you.

[by_heart]

Hm, I can think of a few things. Haven't heard any questions from you lately.

[There were a few he'd expected to have to answer.]

[heartismyown]

You said you were asking the questions, and you didn't even ask me one!

[by_heart]

I think I got the answers I wanted, so I didn't bother.

[So now he's just being an ass, but that's okay because Roxas might love him. If not now, then someday.]

[heartismyown]

That's not how questions work.

[He groans. Lea, it's like pulling teeth.]

Now what?

[by_heart]

[He pinches Roxas' side.]

Now I'm feeling generous so you get one free question and I promise I'll tell you the truth. 100%. Just because it's been a sucky few hours and you've unloaded everything on me already.

[heartismyown]

Well, you didn't say, but do you love me?

[by_heart]

I've said it a lot, you just haven't heard. I told you not to kiss anyone you don't love, didn't I?

[So, well, he kisses him. Just on the forehead, but he's made his point.]

[heartismyown]

Oh. That's really nice. I like how that feels when you said that.

[He shifts so he can rest his head on Lea's shoulder.]

[by_heart]

[Lea hugs him close and relaxes for the first time in what seems like forever. This is okay. He can have this.]

Yeah, I think I do too.

[heartismyown]

I know I can go somewhere else. But I don't want to.

[Roxas thinks Lea wants to hear that, and it's true. He's never wanted to really be away from Lea, or Axel. He never thought of it. It doesn't seem like a real option. He'd miss him too much.]

[by_heart]

[He's never going to truly believe that Roxas really understands what's out there for him, but he can accept that it's what he wants for now.]

I don't want you to, either.

[And there's that. He promises himself that this will be the only time he ever says it.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas rewards him with a bright smile at that and he cuddles to him eagerly. He worries sometimes that Lea is getting sick of him and his incessant problems.]

[by_heart]

[Lea worries about him (a lot), but he's never going to get sick of him.]

Don't get too comfortable. You have to be starving by now.

[Not that Lea shows any sign of moving.]

[heartismyown]

Kind of, but this is nice too.

[Roxas shrugs. It's impossible to get Lea so compliant.]

[by_heart]

[Lea is kind of impossible, yes.]

Don't start complaining when your stomach starts growling.

[He pokes him in the belly for emphasis.]