Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[heartismyown]

[He shakes his head a little, putting his arms around him. He's upset with Lea, but that doesn't mean he wants to push him away so much.]

I'm never doing what you need me to Lea. I'm always disappointing you. I'm trying to get better, I really am.

[by_heart]

What?

[It always rattles him a little when Roxas says something like that. Is that really the impression he gives him? He's apparently a bigger asshole than even he knows. Of course, then there's the other side of the problem...]

You need to stop looking at me for approval for every little thing, Roxas. Sometimes you just have to say "Fine, whatever, who cares what Lea thinks? He's a jerk anyway." I might get mad about it for a while, but that's okay. I get mad at lots of stuff. Have a little more faith in me, okay? I'm not gonna just decide I'm done with you because you forget to take the trash out or you screw up your homework assignments. You mean too much to me.

[heartismyown]

[He sighs and just hides his face against Lea's chest.]

You mean the most to me Lea. It's...it sucks when I do something that disappoints you or upsets you. I can't even think things right. You're not really a jerk. Not usually anyway. I just don't want you to get mad at me. I don't like fighting with you.

I love you. I told you that.

[by_heart]

I love you too, stupid. I don't like it when you get mad or upset, either, but it happens.

[Lea sighs and shakes his head.]

This is why I keep pushing you to go out and do things and meet people. It's like you think you're the only one these things happen to. So what if you got a different start than everyone else? You're pretty normal otherwise.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas rewards him with a swat on the arm.]

You think so Lea? Then...then why did you say that?

[by_heart]

Say what?

[He's said a lot of things in the past few minutes.]

[heartismyown]

That you wanted me to think about this more. Why is it upsetting you?

[by_heart]

[Oh. That. The part he knows he can't explain in any sort of detail without making the kid even more upset. Might as well go for the most superficial part.]

It's great that you want to be with me because you love me and all, but...I don't know...I mean, not everyone digs the whole scarecrow look, but...

[He shrugs. He probably looks pretty pathetic right now. He feels pathetic.]

[heartismyown]

I like how you look.

[His tone basically says 'what, are you stupid?']

[by_heart]

You had all this laid out for you and I could barely get you to touch me!

[No, you're stupid, stupid.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas ruffles his own hair as he thinks, sighing a little.]

It's not because of that. It's 'cause...well..I don't know. You said it wasn't all that good and I have to figure it out first. I will figure it out Lea. I promise.

[by_heart]

[Lea rubs at his temples. This kid...]

Right, right. You go read your book and make a list or something.

[Of course, when he was that age, he wasn't reading boring "guides to dating and sex." Where had Riku even picked up that thing? Don't kids look at porn anymore?]

[heartismyown]

[For some reason, Riku might have the impression that Lea would have freaked out if he sent porn home with Roxas.]

I don't think I should read anymore today. I don't feel that well.

[by_heart]

[He would have, but he wouldn't have taken it from him. Borrowed it from him, maybe...]

Yeah, you said your homework was getting to you. I'll read you a chapter.

[It's like things aren't already as awkward as they can get.]

[heartismyown]

Yeah, okay.

[Roxas tugs on the front of his shirt and walks them back to his room.]

[by_heart]

Wow, geez, don't get too excited.

[Lea flops down on the bed and holds his hand out for the book.]

Pick a chapter.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas fetches the book and puts it in his hand, shrugging a little.]

You can pick.

[He settles in next to Lea.]

[by_heart]

Oh no you don't. You flip through there and pick something.

[Roxas is going to have to start thinking about these things on his own and now's a good time to start.]

[heartismyown]

[Helpfully, Roxas flips through it seemingly at random and offers the book to him. Lea can read him all about oral sex. That should be fun.]

[by_heart]

[Lea's eyebrows shoot up. Wow, what a choice, Roxas.

It's...kinda the one he would have picked.]

Blow Jobs 101. Fun.

[He takes the book and begins to read the chapter out loud, occasionally swapping out a more technical term for something a bit cruder and offering a bit of commentary here and there. It's not like it's bad info, just boring info. He's a little past halfway through when he pauses and looks over to see if Roxas is still paying attention.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas is listening, although he's having a bit of trouble focusing, frowning a little bit. He's hoping it'll stick. Most of it is boring and technical, but Lea's comments are a little more interesting at least.]

[by_heart]

You in there? We can stop if you want.

[He waves a hand in front of Roxas' face. Those eyes are looking a little glazed over.]

[heartismyown]

I'm listening.

[He blinks, helpfully.]

You read it differently.

[by_heart]

Hm? I'm just adding stuff and using words people actually use. Stop me if you get confused, okay?

[He ruffles Roxas' hair and picks up where he left off.]

[heartismyown]

[It's not that confusing, not really. Roxas can figure out a few words here and there being switched around. He did read the book before after all. He just listens quietly, relaxing against him.]

You like this?

[Roxas asks out of the blue all of a sudden.]