Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[heartismyown]

Yeah, but I want to kiss you anyway!

[by_heart]

Roxas.

[He tries his best to sound stern. He's lost count of how many times he's repeated this and it still isn't sinking in. This isn't memory issues, this is just pure stubbornness.]

Why don't you ever listen?

[heartismyown]

Well it's not like you're listening to me!

[He scratches his head and sighs. It's hard for him to come up with these words.]

I don't know if I love you because I don't...I don't know. I don't know what that is like. I can't say. Doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you. That was nice.

[by_heart]

It was nice, but...

[He sighs and shakes his head.]

We can't just keep doing it if you don't understand how you feel.

[heartismyown]

Why not? How else am I supposed to figure it out?

[Oh yeah, Roxas can be stubborn.]

[by_heart]

What? So I'm supposed to keep kissing you until you fall in love with me? What kind of books have you been reading?

[heartismyown]

I didn't read any and that's not what I mean. Never mind. Forget it all. Maybe I can forget this.

[by_heart]

Nah, tell me what you mean. Your turn to answer my questions.

[Really, he needs to figure out what's going on in Roxas' head.]

[heartismyown]

I don't know what I mean. I don't know how to say it. It's really annoying.

[by_heart]

So start talking and you'll get there eventually. I'm used to listening to you go on and on about stuff.

[It's not like he's any better at putting this sort of thing into words. At least Roxas is a bit more open about things.]

[heartismyown]

I don't know.

[Roxas pouts a little, trying to relax. Okay, what is going through his head?]

I feel bad that you didn't like it because I wanted you to. Because....I guess because I like it. I can't really think of anyone else I'd rather kiss then you. It's nice. And I want to be with you forever and when I can't say things, it's really annoying for me. I don't...I don't know enough for you. I can't think sometimes, when my emotions are all charged up.

[He fiddles with the hem of his shirt.]

If you don't like me or can't put up with me, no one else would. I mean, my head's all knotted up. I know it's all broken up there. Sora's better than me.

[by_heart]

That's not true. You have a lot of friends who look out for you now. You have Sora and Riku and Kairi...all of them care about you. It doesn't matter to any of us that you're a bit of a mess. We all have our issues, you know.

[He certainly has enough of his own.]

I just don't want you to think I'm all you have. It's not like that anymore.

[heartismyown]

I know, and I'm still here.

[by_heart]

[Lea wants to just shake him and tell him that he doesn't know, that he needs to actually think about it, but more than that, he just wants to accept those words at face value and keep Roxas here.]

Love...is kind of like that, I think. Wanting someone else to be happy even if you can't be...

[heartismyown]

I don't know what would make you happy.

[Roxas scratches his head.]

[by_heart]

Really? And you've known me for how long?

[Of course he knows.]

[heartismyown]

I know, I know. But forever is a long time, and I can learn! I swear! Give me a chance to figure it out!

[by_heart]

Whoa, you sound like you're expecting me to throw you out. You're not going anywhere.

[heartismyown]

Well I don't know, you got upset at me and you might want me to go away.

[Roxas frowns a little.]

I keep getting feelings in my chest. It hurts when you get mad at me.

[by_heart]

[Lea nods. He knows that feeling well.]

I'd never do that. You're the one who leaves and I'm the idiot who keeps trying to get you back, no matter what, even if it's not what you want. That's how it works.

[It's more self-deprecation than bitterness.]

[heartismyown]

I don't mean it like that, I just...I get mad, or something like mad and I don't...I don't know how to do about it. I don't want to get mad at you, it's not usually your fault, I think, and I don't know. I feel like punching things sometimes and I think sometimes I have to leave. Not for long. I'd always come back.

[by_heart]

That's normal. Go punch things if you need to. Punch me if you need to, I can take it.

[He swats him.]

Why are we talking about this, anyway? I thought I was getting a declaration of love and now I'm telling you to punch me.

[heartismyown]

[Helpfully Roxas punches his shoulder lightly.]

But I don't usually want to punch you. I don't know, my brain is all weird.

[He snorts softly.]

I don't know what else I can say to you.

[by_heart]

Hm, I can think of a few things. Haven't heard any questions from you lately.

[There were a few he'd expected to have to answer.]

[heartismyown]

You said you were asking the questions, and you didn't even ask me one!