Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[by_heart]

Don't sound so disappointed. My cooking's not that great.

[heartismyown]

It's not that. It's that you seem...I don't know. Upset you kissed me. Was I bad at it or something?

[by_heart]

[He's upset with himself. He shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation like that. He should have let him just go out and learn on his own. It's wrong of him to try to keep him to himself the way he does and he's only made it worse with this.]

You had no idea what you were doing, so of course you were bad at it.

[Except not really.]

[heartismyown]

[If Roxas wanted to be somewhere else, he has options, and he doesn't. He wants to be with Lea.]

Oh, it was bad then? I'm sorry.

[by_heart]

You'll figure it out. Just need practice, that's all.

[He busies himself with the takeout menus, still avoiding eye contact at all costs.]

[heartismyown]

[He groans and slumps over the table. How was he going to figure it out? Lea was disappointed in him and he can't come back from that. Who's he going to kiss?]

[by_heart]

[Lea chances a look over his shoulder. The coast seems to be clear for the moment, so he taps Roxas on the head with the menus.]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It was just one kiss.

[Not that that's advice he can take himself...]

[heartismyown]

I guess, but still. I didn't want you to not like it because...well. I did I guess. I don't know.

[He's starting to feel embarrassed and colour rises to his cheeks.]

[by_heart]

[He mutters under his breath.]

I didn't say I didn't like it...

[And then so Roxas can hear:]

Well, think about that and maybe you'll figure something out.

[heartismyown]

I guess so.

[He's pretty disappointed in himself, he just rests his head on his arms. He's not sure why he feels so bad for disappointing Lea, or why he wanted him to like it so much. It's clear from the start he didn't want to kiss Roxas, but not being any good at it is pretty awful. Somehow he wanted it to work out.]

[by_heart]

[Damn...he's not bouncing back from this one, is he? Lea pulls out a chair and sits down next to him, dropping the menus on the table and leaning in close.]

Hey, what's all this about?

[heartismyown]

[Lea successfully made him feel pretty bad for kissing him, that's all.]

Nothing, it's fine.

[by_heart]

It's not fine. You're moping all over my table.

[He thumps him on the back, then leaves his hand there.]

We're not going to be able to eat on it if you keep that up.

[heartismyown]

[He lets out a frustrated whine.]

I'll move then. I'm not really hungry.

[by_heart]

Roxas...

[Lea hangs his head. He really messed this one up. He never should have let things get this far and now his stupid decision is hurting both of them. This is probably what that dumb honesty curse was trying to teach him. Fat lot of good that did.]

Listen, I'm sorry.

[For a lot of things.]

[heartismyown]

You don't have to be sorry. I got it, okay?

[He gives him a weak little smile.]

[by_heart]

[Except he does and you don't.

He should probably say that.]

I don't think you do, or you wouldn't be giving me that fake smile.

[He pokes the side of Roxas' mouth.]

[heartismyown]

I do. I've got it memorized. No kissing, right?

[He leans away from him, Roxas doesn't pull away much.]

[by_heart]

No kissing. [He agrees with that, at least.] You remember the conditions, right? Only if...what?

[heartismyown]

I remember.

[Roxas gets up. He's kind of frustrated and upset and he doesn't really know why that is, but Lea's not really helping.]

I'm going to my room.

[by_heart]

[Lea grabs on to his sleeve. It's kind of weird, being the one in this position...

Well, being the one grabbing someone's sleeve. It's not the first time he's tried to keep Roxas from leaving.]

If you remember, then you can repeat it back to me.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas jerks his arm away from him, hard.]

I'm not a baby. I said I remember!

[He runs his hands through his hair in exasperation.]

You're just...I don't know! I'm mad but not mad. I can't be around you right now! I don't know why so don't ask me!

[by_heart]

Yeah, okay. I deserve that. Just...stay in the house, okay?

[The last time Roxas was this angry at him...that had been the end.]

[heartismyown]

[He would leave in a huff, just to be contrary, however he doesn't feel like it, he feels like curling up somewhere and being by himself.

He shuts himself in his room and flops on his bed. What is happening here? Why does his chest hurt just because Lea doesn't want him to kiss him?

He did it all wrong, and Lea had been upset too. Ugh. Anytime he can forget this, that'd be great.]

[by_heart]

[Now Lea's the one draped over the table. He does this to himself every single time. Why can't he just say what he needs to say? He always gets evasive or makes some smart remark and screws everything up. For all that he wants to be remembered, he sure gets himself left behind an awful lot.]

I guess I really do deserve it.