Musebox

[heartismyown]

 I need to practice with Roxas! Please drop me a line.


Roxas finished smashing the computer, the one that ruined his life. He swung around angrily and stalked off into an unknown room where he found Sora, fast asleep.

DiZ appeared before him. His eyes narrowed, his hand clenched tightly around the keyblade as he swung it back and forth wildly, attempting to attack him. He was familiar. He was the one who did this to him. It was all about that Sora!

"My heart is my own!" Roxas cried, spinning around. Everything has gone white.

When Roxas awakened, he found himself face to face with....

Comments

[by_heart]

Don't make the sad face. I told you I'm not mad. It's just...I dunno. You surprised me.

[And he shouldn't have been surprised. He should have seen this one coming from a mile away. It was only a matter of time before Roxas got an idea like this in his head and it was up to him to discourage it. Because he sure had gone over and over all the reasons why he should discourage it...]

[heartismyown]

I didn't mean to.

[He taps his head. Lea said they talked about this and he doesn't remember. Is he just stupid? Maybe that's why he can't seem to get things straight. He's not sure if he does love Lea, how can he know that? Kissing him didn't seem like a bad idea.]

[by_heart]

I know. You just saw Riku and Sora do it and you wanted to try. It's fine.

[That's probably all it was, too. That endless curiosity at work again. He's probably being a little unfair telling Roxas you should only kiss people you love, since it's not like that even begins to be true, but he has to simplify it somehow and it might as well be a way that keeps him from just trying it out on anyone who'll let him.]

[heartismyown]

[That doesn't make him feel much better. He looks at Lea with a thoughtful look.]

I don't know, maybe. It was okay though, but then you were upset so I guess it's kind of a bad thing.

[by_heart]

[Good job, Lea. Confuse the kid even more when you're trying to set things straight for him.]

It's not bad, Roxas. I just wanted you to understand what it means, that's all.

[heartismyown]

Kissing seemed nice though.

[Roxas sighs. He slumps into a seat at the table, groaning softly.]

I'm starting to think I'm pretty stupid.

[by_heart]

It is nice, but...

[He sighs and shakes his head. Don't finish that sentence, Lea.

He abandons all hope of dinner (they'll order something later) and leans on the table next to Roxas' seat.]

You're not stupid at all. You just have a lot of catching up to do. Most people have years and years to learn all this stuff. They have time to do stupid things and make stupid mistakes.

[heartismyown]

It's not just that Lea. Sometimes I read things and it doesn't stay.

[He sighs a little and shrugs.]

But what? You don't want to kiss anyone?

[by_heart]

[The memory thing again. They really need to find out how to fix that. He's dwelling on that when the next thing Roxas says hits him, causing him to splutter and blush again.]

This isn't about me kissing anyone!

[heartismyown]

Well then what is it?

[He tilts his head curiously.]

[by_heart]

It's about you not kissing people!

[heartismyown]

Yeah, okay, but you didn't like that, so you don't want to kiss people?

[by_heart]

I never said I didn't--

It's not that I don't--

[He hides his face behind his hand. He has to be beet red by now. This is humiliating.]

Just don't go kissing anyone like that, okay?!

[heartismyown]

Okay, next time I'll ask someone first.

[He's still curious, but Lea doesn't need to know that. Besides he might be able to find his answers. Maybe he can even ask Riku.]

[by_heart]

That's not what I mean!

[He still can't look at him.]

Only if you love them, okay? Then you ask.

[Please don't go around kissing anyone who'll let you, Roxas.]

[heartismyown]

I don't know about that. What if I can't love anyone? I can ask Riku about it maybe.

[Seems like Lea doesn't know much about this topic, hmm. If Riku doesn't want to talk, someone will.]

[by_heart]

Ask anyone you want about love, just no kissing.

[He's sure Roxas will just get his head filled with nonsense that way, but they can always sort through it together afterwards, the way they do with everything else he learns.]

I'm sure you can love somebody, though, so don't worry about that.

[heartismyown]

Well then how am I going to know about kissing?

[by_heart]

[He still has his hand on his face, so he nudges him with his elbow instead of swatting him.]

You wait until you find the right person and either they'll teach you or you'll figure it out together, I don't know.

[heartismyown]

But you always teach me things. You're the smart one.

[He nudges him back.]

I'd rather you teach me.

[by_heart]

I know.

[He knows that all too well.

Dammit.

This is stupid. He's stupid for letting things get this far.]

Once, okay? Just to get it out of your system.

[There's no taking it back now that he's said it.]

[heartismyown]

Okay.

[Roxas looks at him with a grin. As long as Lea says it's okay, then he can do it right?]

[by_heart]

[It's that trusting grin that just makes this worse. Lea takes a deep breath and lets it out. He shouldn't draw this out.

Or make it last.

Or enjoy it.

Just get it over with.]

Okay.

[He leans down and kisses Roxas gently, counting the seconds to give himself something else to focus on. Anything to distract from how it feels and how much he's wanted to to know. He gives himself a count of ten, then pulls back and immediately turns so that Roxas can't see his face and he can't see Roxas at all.]

[heartismyown]

[The kiss is really nice in the end, and Roxas can understand why Sora seemed to like it, it made him feel nice and warm in his chest. He's not sure if that's what is supposed to happen, but all the same, really nice.

When Lea pulls away he lets out a soft, disappointed noise despite himself, and now he's not looking at him. Roxas wants to ask but Lea doesn't seem like he would answer.]

[by_heart]

So there you go. Now you know what it's like.

[Please let it be enough.]